17 Thanks for Thanksgiving 2017
On Tuesday I had a meeting about something that had been in the works for months, and it unexpectedly fell through. I'd had my own misgivings, but losing this opportunity caused me to feel some loss of future financial security, as well as frustration with myself for not seeing the problems sooner, and not acting on the misgivings I did have. That evening we hosted out of town relatives, I picked up my brother at the airport at midnight, spent the night roiled inside my own head about my future and what I'd done wrong, all the while not forgetting the immense, unexpected joy of Monday.
Wednesday morning we packed up and made the drive to Ben's parents' house in Kansas City, Mo., for a wonderful, just-what-I-needed big family Thanksgiving. I slept, ran outside, continued occasionally to berate myself in my head and alternately be scared about a more uncertain future, and then I ate a huge Thanksgiving meal full of brisket (a KC Thanksgiving special, amazing), cheesy corn, and all the things I love about being here for Thanksgiving. I then did my customary afternoon of sinking deep into my in-laws' living room couch for a few hours, texted with a few faraway-but-close-in-spirit friends, and connected with the God who has never, ever, ever left me - even when the intense highs and devastating lows hit right after one another.
In that spirit, as I sit here surrounded by family who loves me and accepts me just as I am, I am feeling grateful for a God who knows and loves me even more than I can even comprehend. So I want to give thanks. Here, in no particular order, are 17 Thanks for Thanksgiving 2017. And maybe a few more. Maybe we'll make it a running list. And we'll have some fun. I'll try to avoid the cliches.
17. Bruce Springsteen, his song "Badlands" and his book Born to Run
You wake up in the night,
With a fear so real,
You spend your life waiting,
For a moment that just don't come,
Well, don't waste your time waiting,
I believe in the hope and I pray,
That someday it may raise me
Above these badlands